Intro by Sam
I’m officially the loser of the 2024 season. Somehow I’ve sunk below the $100 starting number, so Yank is officially declared the winner! I’d gripe, but I don’t deserve it this season with my performance. That being said, the bets won’t stop even though I’m declared the loser. Here are the picks!
Week 16 Picks
The Collaboration:
The Detroit Lions-6.5 @ the Chicago Bears
Sam: The Lions offense is on a tear and while the defense is a turnstile at this point, the Bears offense seems completely inept. Caleb Williams is up to his old tricks and the receivers/OL are giving up. I’ll take the Lions by a touchdown.
Yank: Bet the Lions they said. It will be fun, they said. Sadly for Lions fans and backers the last few weeks have been a bloodbath injury-wise. Still, this is too good of an opportunity to pass up. The Bears have been dead for weeks. The Lions offense is a ball of knives and chainsaws. Dan Campbell and the boys get it done.
Yank’s Pick: $11.00 on the Lions-6.5 (-110)
Sam’s Pick: $10.00 on the Lions-6.5 (-110)
The Philadelphia Eagles-3.5 @ the Washington Commanders
Yank: The Eagles are unbeatable now. Let’s all bow down to our vicious winged overlords. Nothing can slow or contain them. Victory and covering the spread is assured.
Sam: I expect the Eagles to take care of business against the Commanders. The Commanders haven’t looked impressive in the last few weeks; they have barely squeaked by against medium-to-bad teams. That being said, on the off chance my bad betting hurts the Eagles chances, I will take it.
Yank’s Pick: $10.50 on the Eagles-3.5(-105)
Sam’s Pick: $8.00 on the Eagles-3.5 (-110)
The Los Angeles Rams-3 @ the New York Jets
Sam: The Jets stink. I don’t care how they’ve done recently against a bunch of nobodies. I’m going to bet against them every time, and this week they’re going up against a team I don’t think has gotten enough attention. With Kupp and Nacua healthy, the offense has enough potency to move the ball and the defensive line should have Rodgers running for his life.
Yank: I wake up on Sundays (Saturdays? Fridays?) and can’t wait to bet against the NY Jets. They are dysfunctional from top to bottom: their QB is old and washed and their interim coach has proven to be one of the worst game managers on planet earth. Give me Sean McVay and Matthew Stafford to be competent and cover.
Yank’s Pick: $10.50 on the Rams-3 (-105)
Sam’s Pick: $8.00 on the Rams-3 (-105)
The Tennessee Titans @ the Indianapolis Colts-3.5
The New York Giants @ the Atlanta Falcons-9.5
The Jacksonville Jaguars @ the Las Vegas Raiders-2.5
Sam: The bum killer parlay special.Titans and Mason Rudolph? Bums. The New York Giants and whoever is playing QB? Bums. The Raiders are favored??? Bums. Easy to see why we made this parlay when you look at the opponents. The fear here is the question mark teams we’re betting on. The Colts are average at best, the Falcons are starting a rookie QB, and Yank somehow convinced me to bet on Mac Jones and the Jaguars.
Yank: Betting on the Giants, Titans, and Raiders just to lose has been a lucrative proposition this year. As Sam mentioned this essentially becomes a three-to-one parlay on the Jags to win, which are the type of odds you need to get to even consider betting on the Jags.
Yank’s Pick: $10.00 on a Colts, Falcons, Jaguars moneyline parlay (+291)
Sam’s Pick: $5.00 on a Colts, Falcons, Jaguars Moneyline Parlay (+282)
The Confrontation:
No Confrontation identified this week.
The Isolation:
The New England Patriots @ the Buffalo Bills-14.5
Yank: Buffalo has reached the “bet on them every week” tier for me. I was scared(probably incorrectly) about the 14.5-point spread because of their leaky defense. Let’s parlay a mid-sized victory and the over, which should hit easily if the Pats score 14-17 points as I expect.
Yank’s Pick: $11.30 on a parlay Bills-5.5 and game over 40.5 (-113)
Authors: Sam Mattson and Michael Yanckello
One Last Line 